Thursday, October 20, 2011

The art of forgiving

Misunderstanding and silly fights are very common in our life. But the most important thing is the tenacity of the fight, its longevity and the aftermath effects in our mind. Initially it may seem to be a war of words, just between the lips and eyes. But later, hatred creeps in and makes it a fight between the hearts.

To avoid it and find an amicable end, we have this wonderful thing called ‘forgiveness’. But many people don’t know the art of forgiving. They tend to fight back with full force thinking that they are getting close to victory for the heart. But actually they never know they are hurting themselves with feelings.


We are going to get nothing good by holding on to anger. It will only burden the heart and obsess the mind with negative thoughts about the other person. But just think of forgiveness; it means getting back to normalcy, getting back to being together, a peaceful rest for the mind, a feast for heart by happiness and tranquil for the soul by forgiving.

It does a good thing not just for you; it also heals the other heart. It’s a commitment to navigate to a good state of being. It’s about caring for yourself and your inner spirit. It’s like putting your heart into the ocean of peace.

Weigh the situation and your corresponding reaction to it. Analyse the effects on your life and actively decide the course of action - that’s either forgiving or moving on. Don’t wear that victim tag.

You cannot describe your life by how many times you are hurt, but how many times you have pardoned. Care about yourself and for others. Forgiving can heal you, heal others, heal the society and the world.

52 comments:

Saru Singhal said...

True, fighting brings negativity in our lives. Actually, I dread that I loose my peace of mind which is very important for me. Forgiving not only makes the bond stronger between people but it makes you a better human being. Great Post Anand:)

MyKitchen Flavors-BonAppetit!. said...

Forgiving is the greatest Art that will make U happier in the end.It will let go ur hardfeelings and filters ur unwanted sufferings and hatred.Wonderful post Anand.Keep it up.

Lady*♥*Fiona said...

Forgiving not only brings emotional peace but also physical peace. Negativity can be very detrimental to our health and I'm not sure if everyone realizes this :)

However, there are things that people do that don't deserve our forgiveness but I think we still need to 'make our peace' with it somehow and move on, even if it means they are not a part of our lives anymore. I like the mention about the 'victim tag' :)

God is the only one who can forgive and FORGET but as human beings we tend to remember and this can cause more damage to a relationship when the next fight surfaces. Then we are not only dealing with the current issue at hand but also a list of all the past grievances too :)

Great topic, again, Anand! You write about things that all of us can relate to in life. Wonderful post and picture! :)

CHULALA said...

i so feel this post right now bruv,gr8 blog and photos bdw come thru my fashion blog n lets folloW Each other like twitter .

C h u c h u - c h u l a l a . b l o g s p o t . c om

ashok said...

so true...

as they say, Mad gets & forgets...God gives & forgives...

pygmalion said...

Amen!

I also stand for tolerance without compromising on apt responses in the correct proportion at the right time.
Grudges eat our souls.. I have given away the only grudge i ever had in life.. and that too through blogging and releasing my pent up feelings.

Forgiveness is the panacea!
Applause to you dear Anand!

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

It is so easy for me to relate to your posts.. :)

They make me wonder about so many things!

We have all been taught to forgive others. But then, is it that easy to let go??

Cяystal said...

Agreed, with every w.o.r.d
Everyone relates to this.

Sahana Rao said...

'Inner peace' is what we get if we forgive.
Holding grudges, plotting revenge will only make hot-wired connections in the brain. We never know when will the voltage surpass the limits and when the short circuit occurs.
I am not a good forgiver by nature. But, I try really hard to inculcate this feeling in me. Come in-peace with myself.
Slowly I do. Initially it is hard. But not impossible!

Nasnin Nasser said...

"To err is human, to forgive divine!" - Alexander Pope

This is the crux of your post which you have told it in such a tender way...just like the "forgiveness" and "forgiving". As you said many people are ignorant of the real value of it...it's something which we will never regret...it's the very root that can blossom a reconciliation. As Shakespeare said in one of his plays...
"the rarer action is
In virtue than in
vengeance: they being penitent,
The sole drift of my purpose doth extend
Not a frown further."

The line that touch me most..."You cannot describe your life by how many times you are hurt, but how many times you have pardoned."

Every time I come to your page I would leave with a tinge of compassion in my heart which I could fish out from your posts Anand....my regards:-)

Anand said...

@Saru Singhal: Yes Saru, forgiving does make you a better human. well said. Thank you very much :) :)

Anand said...

@MyKitchen Flavors-BonAppetit!: Thank you very much Christy. Truly appreciate your comment :)

Ashwini said...

TO an extent, I do agree. Forgiving is the best thing you could do, and avoid burdening ourselves and hurting others. Still, after that one fight, despite repeated attempts, that initial level of intimacy is lost forever!

Anand said...

@Lady*♥*Fiona: Thank you very much!! I agree that certain people dont deserve to be pardoned but as you said, we still need to 'make our peace' and move on ~ as this is more concerned about yourself than others.

And yes, our mind remembers such things from the past and nags us during the fight. We gotta handle them carefully without collapsing much of your 'inner peace'! Thanks again :) :)

Anand said...

@CHULALA: Thank you for the visit!

Anand said...

@ashok: Rightly said Ashok. Thank you :)

Anand said...

@pygmalion: Thank you so much for the applause Pygma. Truly delighted to read your comment. And good to know that you had given away your only grudge (ONLY grudge?) through blogging. That's interesting.

Thanks again :) :)

Anand said...

@♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫: Letting it go is the last option people would choose because it is such a hard compelling decision after all those failed attempts in forgiving.

So that won't be such a difficult thing for people who've reached that stage. They just need to get rid of such people to bring back peace in life.

Thank you very much gal :)

Anand said...

@Cяystal: Thanks a ton :)

Ganga Bharani (GB) said...

'Forgive' always tastes like cake to the receiver and tonic to a giver.
Tonic might not be as tasty as a cake but it definitely makes u strong :)

Anand said...

@Sahana Rao: A nice techno expression of the topic Sahana. Yes, its not at all impossible to forgive others. It brings truck load of inner peace. Thank you very much :)

Anand said...

@Nasnin Nasser: Every time, you take my post to a new level by your comment Nasnin. I loved the Shakespeare's verse and the crux you've described. Thank you veryy much for the regards. Wish you good luck in everything :) :)

Anand said...

@Ashwini: Yes, after the fight, the intimacy might have lost. But that's a temporary thing (Depends on the tenacity of the fight).

But actually speaking, fights tend to bring people closer to each other. I've realized this so many times among my friends. Every time you get back after a fight, you will feel that the bonding is even more strong because of the fundamental understanding ~ one gives and the other receives (pardon and pardoned). Thank you veryyy much for the comment :)

Anand said...

@Ganga Bharani (GB): What an expression Sirji...Thanks a lot for dropping by!!! :)

Rahul Bhatia said...

Forgive yes! Forget not!.. Lovely read Ananad

Susan Deborah said...

But this simple truth is so hard to practice. I wish I could do that easily.

Joy always,
Susan

Anand said...

@Rahul Bhatia: Thank you very much :)

Anand said...

@Susan Deborah: Yes you can Susan! Thanks a lot for dropping by :)

SUB said...

well said...it is difficult to get over one's ego and forgive...ones one has done that, nothing can be better :)

Lady*♥*Fiona said...

I'm fortunate to rarely find myself in a situation of misunderstanding in a friendship but it happened a couple of days ago. My motive was to help but it wasn't received in the intended manner and I saw the "war of words" beginning :)

I couldn't help but think of your post again and I applied it today by apologizing, forgiving and restoring the friendship. I can truly say that my heart is now in "the ocean of peace" again :)

I couldn't resist coming back to tell you and thank you for the 'perfect timing' of this post, Anand :) :)

Ashish Nandwani said...

Liked it. Forgive and love. One life , one world .We all are one!
Cheers

Kunal said...

If only everyone knew the art of forgiving, so many wounds in the world have healed, so many blood shed would have been avoided. But no, this 'ego' takes precedence, which clouds our judges and decision making and damage is done, which could have been easily done away with.

Sujatha Sathya said...

good thought. needed too. but easier said than done. there are 3 people in my life i can or will never forgive - my maternal grandmother, my MIL and one of sathya's friend's wife.

the rest i forgive easy & in fact always make the first move & be as friendly & same as before. true it helps us more to forgive than the other person. only one life after all :)

--- Bagya --- said...

The feeling that comes after forgiving someone is a pleasance.

Forgive but never forget!

Anand said...

@SUB: Yes, it will be difficult to get over the ego. But that has to be beaten down with forgiveness, and as you said, nothing else can be better than that :)

Anand said...

@Lady*♥*Fiona: Trust me, it was the most delighting comment to read Fiona. Am very glad to know that this post came on a perfect timing to restore your friendship and peace.

Thank you very much for remembering my post, applying it in a needful situation and sharing your outcome and experience. Am glad this post has fulfilled its purpose :)

Anand said...

@Ashish Nandwani: Well said Ashish, we all are one. Thanks a ton :)

Anand said...

@Kunal: Yes, ego takes a center stage and makes everything that you've described here. But that has to be beaten down with 'forgiveness' to make this world a better place. Thank you so much for the comment and welcome here :)

Anand said...

@Sujatha Sathya: Yes, agree that it is easier said than done. But when you come to a stage where you cannot forgive someone, letting it go and moving on is a perfect thing to do.

Sometimes, the human acts impact so much on us that our heart just refuses to forgive and get back to normalcy with such people.

And happy to know that you always make the first move to get things back on track. Truly that'll be a great gesture!

Anand said...

@Bagya: Well said Bagya. Thanks a ton :)

Shreya said...

You cannot describe your life by how many times you are hurt, but how many times you have pardoned.

This is a nice line. I liked it. Nice post, Anand. :)

http://www.iredeem.blogspot.com/

shashi purwar said...

very true ...nicely describe . love your post . ..........:)

http/sapne-shashi.blogspot.com

KP said...

Oh.. i was wondering lately why u not not writing often, the reason was that I missed this one totally! just stumbled today (when wondering abt ur absence)

So "to forgive is divine" huh? nice post.. its easy to forget than forgive.. and when we reach that state to forgive others, then tat is divine to me.. :)

Ruchi Jain said...

its so nice write up, well done..

Anand said...

@Shreya: Thank you so much!

Anand said...

@shashi purwar: Thank you and welcome here :)

Anand said...

@KP: hmmm no probs. Am happy that I didn't vanish for a long time. Agree that its easy to your lines and yes reaching the stage to forgive others is a divine thing! Thank you :)

Anand said...

@Ruchi Jain: Thank you Ruchi :)

R.Ramakrishnan said...

Hi, Came in through Sujatha Sathya. Nice post well written.Forgiveness is critical factor in any relationship.

Uruj said...

Nicely described.

Anand said...

@R.Ramakrishnan: Thank you very much for the comment :)

Anand said...

@Uruj: Thanks a ton :)

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